When They're Not Happy For You

One of the hardest—and least talked about—parts of making real, lasting change is how it can impact your relationships.

You’ve finally decided to take your health seriously. You’re making changes. You’re feeling better—maybe even amazing. You’ve worked hard to get to this place, and naturally, you want to share your excitement. You expect encouragement, maybe even some proud smiles or cheers.

But instead, you get… a weird look. A passive-aggressive comment. A fake smile. Or worse—judgment disguised as “concern.”

It stings. A lot.

And you might find yourself wondering: Why aren’t they happy for me?

Here’s the truth that can be hard to swallow: when we start showing up for ourselves, it can make others uncomfortable—especially those who aren’t ready or willing to face their own relationship with food, health, or even just discomfort.

Sometimes the reaction you get is because you shared your excitement with an unsafe person—someone who simply isn’t capable of being happy for anyone. Other times, it comes from a place of jealousy, insecurity, or fear. It might even be from someone close to you—a family member, a spouse, a long-time friend—someone who is afraid of what your growth means for them.

And while I wish I could give you a script that would make these moments painless or fix the responses of others, I can’t. But I can remind you of this:

You don’t have to own their reactions.

Their criticism? Not yours.

Their judgment? Not yours.

Their fear or jealousy? Not yours.

What is yours is your progress, your peace, your freedom.

But here’s where it can get tricky—because these moments? They can be ED danger zones.

They’re the kind of moments ED (your eating disorder or disordered eating thoughts) lives for. ED will use that sting of rejection to whisper lies: “See? No one likes the new you. Maybe you should stop. Maybe it’s safer to go back.”

But you’re not going back. Ever.

You’ve come too far. You’ve learned too much. You’re healing—and healing sometimes means shedding the approval of people who were only comfortable with the version of you who stayed fat, mentally small, stuck, or silent.

You don’t need their permission to change.

You don’t need their applause to keep going.

And you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone who hasn’t earned that level of access to your heart.

You are allowed to grow—even if it makes others uncomfortable.

You are allowed to feel joy—even if others don’t understand it.

And you are absolutely allowed to protect your peace—even if that means creating some distance from people who try to tear you down.

Keep going.

You’re not alone in this—and you’re not doing it wrong just because someone else doesn’t approve.

You’re doing something powerful. And the people who are meant to walk with you on this journey? They’ll get it.

My Food Freedom program has an entire lesson dedicated to dealing with changes in our relationships. Are you ready to take a deep dive in your recovery? Ready to find your food freedom once and for all? Click on the image below to choose your path.