Are We Really Not Allowed to Notice Health Anymore?

Recently I came across a Facebook post from someone in the mainstream eating-disorder treatment world telling people to stop complimenting weight loss.

The message was that noticing someone’s body change could be harmful and that it might be praising illness, reinforcing weight stigma, or teaching children that thinner is better. The post suggested we should avoid any body-related comments at all and stick to neutral greetings.

I understand the intention behind that message. Truly, I do, but I also think it’s incredibly one-sided and for many people, it’s actually damaging.

For a huge number of men and women, weight loss is not just about vanity, comparison, or trying to fit a cultural ideal. It’s about healing. It’s about freedom from food addiction and about getting their life back.

Being told that no one should ever acknowledge that journey can feel like another form of shame.

When Did Noticing Health Become Taboo?

Human beings notice change, we notice energy, we notice confidence and we notice when someone looks more vibrant and alive.

There is nothing inherently cruel about acknowledging that. If someone stops drinking and their face is no longer swollen, most of us would naturally think they look healthier. If a person starts walking every day and their mobility improves, we notice that too, but when it comes to weight, we’re now being told to look away and stay silent, as if acknowledging visible health is morally wrong.

That feels extreme to me. Celebrating effort is not the same as devaluing someone’s worth. Recognizing transformation is not the same as promoting self-hate.

Not Every Weight-Loss Story Is Tragic

The narrative I saw treated weight loss as if it automatically equals suffering. Sometimes that’s true, but often it isn’t and the weight loss has been intentional and work and effort when into achieving it.

I work every day with people who have:

• Reversed type 2 diabetes

• Come off medications

• Stopped binge eating after decades

• Freed themselves from food addiction

• Gained energy to live their real lives

For them, body change is a side effect of healing, not a punishment.

When someone says, “You look wonderful,” they don’t hear judgment, they hear that their hard work is visible, that the mountain they climbed mattered. That kind of recognition can be deeply meaningful.

The Real Problem Is What We Value

I agree with one important part of the mainstream message:

A person’s value is not determined by body size.

Thin does not automatically mean healthy and larger does not automatically mean unhealthy, but we’ve taken that truth and stretched it so far that we now act like all discussion of physical change is harmful.

That pendulum swing doesn’t create freedom, it creates confusion.

The goal shouldn’t be silence, the goal should be wisdom and kindness.

Intent and Context Matter

There’s a big difference between:

“You look so much better than you used to.”

and

“You look like you’ve been taking good care of yourself.”

One compares and shames and the other simply notices health.

Most people are not trying to police bodies, they’re responding to something positive they see in another human being.

Treating every compliment as an act of oppression removes room for normal, caring connection.

What Should We Teach Kids?

I often hear the argument that complimenting weight loss teaches children to chase thinness. I don’t believe that’s inevitable.

We can teach kids that:

• Bodies change throughout life

• Health is more than size

• Strength and energy matter

• People deserve respect at every weight

We can also be honest that taking care of your body can show on the outside and that this isn’t something shameful to acknowledge.

Pretending otherwise isn’t education, It’s avoidance.

A More Balanced Way Forward

Here’s where I land: Don’t reduce people to their bodies, don’t assume weight loss is always healthy and don’t use compliments as comparison or pressure. Also, don’t shame people for noticing healing, don’t silence celebration of real health change, don’t erase the victories of those who fought hard to get well.

Both truths can exist at the same time.

To Those Who Have Done the Hard Work

If you have battled food addiction, binge eating, or metabolic illness and your body now tells that story, you are allowed to feel proud, you are allowed to receive kindness and you are allowed to let your progress be seen. Your transformation does not need to hide in the shadows to protect an ideology.

If this conversation resonates with you, you’d love the topics I explore on the Food Freedom Podcast…..real talk about food addiction, recovery, and building a healthy relationship with your body.

Healing should never be something we’re afraid to acknowledge.